Talking to A First Date without Coming on Too Strong

You’ve met a special someone, and all week long you’ve been anticipating the first date.

The attraction is there along with some serious chemistry. Things are looking good…right up until you open your mouth.

Knowing what to say on a first date can be tricky, especially when you don’t want to come on too strong.

How do you guarantee success from the moment you open your mouth to ask your first question?

Come out and Say It

You’re nervous. They’re nervous.

Take the pressure off by admitting it right off the bat.

You’ll find when you admit you’re not sure what to say, that statement becomes an icebreaker, guaranteed to get the ball rolling.

It also puts you on equal footing and takes some of that first date pressure off.

Ask Stuff, Starting with What They Like Best

By asking questions about them, you’re showing you’re interested in the other person.

Start with what’s easy – favourite foods, books, or movies. But even this can get tricky.

To avoid falling into the pitfall of giving each other one-word answers, employ the art of the follow-up by asking why they like this thing best, or about their favourite memory they associate with it.

Avoid Controversy
Unless you met at a political rally or at church, stay away from potentially divisive topics, at least until you get to know each other better.

Keep Therapy Sessions for Your Counselor

While it’s good to be open about who you are, be careful of falling into the trap of oversharing, or getting so caught up in your own story that you fall into a long rant or worse, you turn this into a platform for working on your own issues.

Just remember: Dates are not therapy!

Avoid Embellishment

While your life might seem a little dull in places, the last thing you want to do is to fall into the habit of ‘puffing up’ your biography.

Lies will always catch you in the end. With this in mind, it’s always best to be honest in your answers.

Ask about Them without Getting Nosy

It’s one thing to ask about someone’s job, but another to ask how much they make each year.

Respect the boundaries of good taste. If you wouldn’t be comfortable being asked something, then don’t be the one asking it of others.

This includes talking about previous relationships!

The key to Dating conversation is simple: be open and honest and remember to relax.

You’re there to have fun and get to know someone new. Keep your conversation positive, and you can’t go wrong.

About the Author: bigted

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